Wireless Recovery

Today i returned to work after one and one half days off - I slept for most of the time or just layed there and watched sattelite television - surprisingly I found it too be quite satisfying. - Yeah I could of easily stayed home another day but I came to work to try and make this illness come to an earlier close - I still feel pretty shitty - So the weather is freezing rain and snow - it should take about 2 hours to get home - I will listen to my ipod books to kill the time - I transmit it through my car radio - they say it is safer this way.

I bought a linksys B router today for 129.99 - a 20.00 rebate - it includes a card for my laptop and will dissolve all of my network woes - hopefully it will help with the load times on EQ2 - if u dont know what that means then don't worry about it -you won't care if i tell u.

Yeah so the B router is great for internet and basic home networking - the G costs 2x as much but will not increase your internet service speed because the average cable connection is 4 and the B will take up to 11 so this makes purchasing the G redundant - unless you need super fast networking speed fron PC to PC - And so on.

I think I will wait until the weekend before I hook all of this up because it wll take some time and I don't have the energy. I have to go now because a friend of mine needs his car boosted - he has a dead battery obviously so I gotta go and give him a boost.

Pity Party

It's happening and there is nothing I can do about it. Glasses of cold water and Advil, orange juice, vitamins, coffee, clementines, there is no cure - i can feel it creeping up the back of my neck and pressuring me behind my ears. My throat is thick and whien I flex my head back the muscles ache in the base of my scull...

I should of stayed in bed today. I should of turned around when I had the idea to just blocks from my house. Shit even my scarf was telling me to go home. I was sure by the time I made it to the office it would of strangled me if I hadn't taken it off.

Even Howard Stern was making me sick - although he usually does - but today his narcissistic meglomaniac attitude made me wretch bile and coffee to the roof of my mouth ( i had to swallow it ). Yeah he and his minions were killing me - the minions kiss his ass constantly - hovering around him verbally like flies around a fresh chunk of feces.

But enough about him this is about me - and if u haven't gathered it yet i feel like crap today. The contemplation of leaving early is setting in and I am only going to commit to lunchtime for sure. I have to write some radio spot treatments today. New treatments for an old concept. It is like trying to come up with a better way to slice bread.

Boo Hoo poor me. Oh woe is me - what can i do - such a hard done by. The self pity is making me sicker. Yes now I can completely confess that the writing of this has taken me to a complete point of discust. Writing more will just make things worse because i am getting a sense of how shit it is. Rotten - just rotten - everything is shit.

The virgin wears a crown?

Today is the monday after everything - and i am at work - it seems that the goverment has declared today a statutory holiday but most of us chumps still have to work - like u care - anyways it is the reason for my dissatisfied mood. Today i feel rather wet on the outside and soft on the inside - kind of like a spoiled little bratt without the little part - just writing the last sentence annoyed me even so I am going to keep this brief.

My aunt sent me this weird package in the mail - I haven't spoken to her in over ten years and she sent me this giant picture of the virgin mary with a crown on her head. The picture is bigger than a serving tray and if you put it up in your house it would make the room look like a church. There are reames of paragraphed scrawl on the back written in cheap ballpoint pen. Dilligently perfect and meticulous.

Included int he package was a two page pencil written letter and a five page pencil written supplimentary letter that she requested be returned to her. Also a video tape, 3 aluminium medals marker (blessed), a book on the falacies or the catholic religion, and sorted pahmpelets and book ordering catalogues.

There was this one article about how the virgin mary should concecrate Russia and how Russia was building weapons of mass destruction in iceland and was going to destroy the earth - It talked about how god was going to get us back for our sins by starting the third world war. The only way to stop it all was to get the virgin mary to concerate Russia. Apparently god told someone that he wanted Russia to get concerated - but only mary could do it and we had to get her to do it. And so on.

So what am i supposed to do - ? You see I recently got married and was thinking of converting to the catholic church because my wife is catholic. My auntie got wind of this and wanted to warn me of the new EVIL located within the more modern doctrine of the church and a few other things.

I hid the package in the basement and need to think about it. Yes it belongs in the cellar.
Her disillusionment has me all off balance and I am having issues coping with the inherent examples of her obsessive fanatical behaviour. it is bringing back the terror of my mothers obtuse outlooks on things - the ones that I have buried beep inside of me ages ago - sealed away on top of gallons of vodka and domestic disasters.

My wife says "just don't think about it"

I can't get it out of my mind.