How much is the dolly?

Very well then - here is an interesting image. A very firm looking image wouldn't you say? I especially adore the photo inset showing just how supple things are. Can anyone get me a cost on this thing? It would make a great gift for an uncle of mine.

What does the big "F" stand for?

Not unlike yesterday.

Sometimes things seem so simplified. Most of the time things seem simplified. Usually there isn't much to things at all. We just make complications for ourselves. We make everything see so insanely tragic, or over elaborate. I do it too. My wife calls me a narcissist; I think we are all narcissists, but I guess a narcissist would think so.

I look at my hand and the simple act of its motion connected to my thoughts can seem dauntingly complex. The way it moves almost like an animal of its own volition. It creeps me out. I makes me see things I don't normally want to see. How parallel we are to things like snails or slugs - moving along in unconscious method. My hands have a mind of their own. They move when I sleep. The move when I drive. They take a million different positions over the course of a day without me thinking about it.

One day it will all just rot. Things will break down and stop, but until then the simplistic beauty of my ability to move could be taken as a fascination that could consume a lifetime.

I can't focus anymore.

So it's Sunday and my ears smell like mold. I feel like I need to scrub myself with a pumice based soap to help slough off all of the grease and buildup of mess I have collected over the past week. Yes things build up and you need to have them removed. Your eye glasses get grimy and it makes it harder to see if you don't clean them.

I think old people stop washing because they just don't want to think clearly any more. Everyone ignores them so they just let the buildup congeal until they have a thick layer of sense-numbing barrier to keep them safe. I have no idea what all of this means, but I am sure it is important. I notice it ever so slightly when I look in the mirror. I can feel it deep inside me - I am just not as sharp as I used to be. I have to look a little harder at things to make them out. I have to pay a little closer attention. I miss things I normally would not(or never used to miss). Driving takes more concentration. Is this what it means to get on in years? Is this the first stage of me sensing that maybe keeping things clean will not keep me seeing and hearing clearly? I can hardly see without my glasses. I don't go to bars any more.
Fuck.