Tuesday, November 01, 2005
I LOVE YOU PIP
If I could describe things today it would be like this photo.
The rain makes me feel more isolated and I can feel myself sinking deeper into the core of my own consciousness - This entry is going to be short because I am a little lost for words today. I feel like a windup toy walking into a wall. I keep walking but my feet just bump uselessly into the wall-face and I waste my last bit of windup energy in vain to get somewhere - but where am I going - huh? I am sure we all feel this way at different times of the day, year, life. This blog is starting to get a little repetitive - I will try to spice things up tomorrow I promise.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Things have been appearing out of the blue. Things that I can see on the edge of my peripheral vision. I catch it once in a while and jerk towards it to see if what I think I see is real. Most of the people I meet make me wonder about myself and why I seem so different - but then in some stupid ways so similar. Carol Shields once said something that I found interesting - she said that it was hard to be human because you never got a day off - you always had to be at it. I think that pretty well sums it up. Maybe Halloween is an excuse to let your humanism fall astray for a few hours - but I didn't come here to write about Halloween and I am sure you didn't come hear to read about it - what am I saying - your not even here. It's just me and that is the way it is going to be.
So yeah things are always standing on the verge of something - there is that feeling of balancing on a cliff edge or that few seconds when you are trying to get back on a ladder to get down off of a roof - that seems to be where I hang out lately. I live in the moments just before the car accident - when you know it is going to happen and you just have to sit there and watch it. At least it makes things interesting. At least I know I am alive. It beats the hell out of hanging around in limbo all day wondering if your life will ever change.
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