I went to the Rep-Cinema on College Street last night thinking that I could see a movie for cheaper than the regular theatres. Now I usually could give a shit how much things cost - but when you find yourself on a limited income things change. I remember when the Rep-Cinemas were cheap and held kind of a cult status in Toronto - but now they seem more mainstream then ever before. You are forced to by a membership so the movie cost 9 bucks each and popcorn and drinks for two was 13 bucks. So We opted out on the popcorn and payed way too much just to see a movie that will be released on DVD tomorrow. Seems everyone is out to fuck you over these days - even going against the mainstream is turning into a ripoff. (We could of gone to a first-run film for a dollar more each and the popcorn is 11 bucks at the Aliance with drinks.)

So I sat there brooding to myself about how nothing ever seems to cut a working or non-working stiff a break these days. Maybe I am just lost in the past like every other 40 something on the planet - stuck in the eighties remembering when everyone still smoked in the rep-theatres and smuggled in booze. You could go there and hang out for two hours to get warm in the winter and shoot the shit with the other goons doing the same thing. Well the vibe is gone - at least for me. As one ages things seem to just keep watering down into pure boredom. It's the same old same old over and over - Make way for the new generation so that they can spend their 20 bucks without conscience and get their spot to experience everything you don't get off on any more.

Oh now don't jade yourself Derek Keep positive - why are you always such a downer - nothing ever gets you excited anymore ... Well lots of things do still get me up but they are just different ones like fluffing my pillow and deciding which one of my 500 novels I will read, or going to the Tulip and having a slice of coconut cream pie and tea. Yes these are the senior years - it looks like soon I will be put out to pasture. I am just too much of a pessimist to be able to socialize anymore.

Well no - I just don't like getting hosed every time I try to have a good time - eight dollars for a special coffee? Go fuck yourself next time I'll bring a flask and use my own brandy. Moan, whine, complain, it's all a waste of oxygen.

Just shut up and be happy your not in some hospital bed with your face rotting away.