Yes its true - the savior is back and he's pissed. No more fallacies about coming like a thief in the night - Jesus is running the streets and terrorizing our innocents! Stated Dalton McGinty yesterday.
He was reportedly seen throwing cars at the Zanzibar Nightclub last night around 6pm.
"It was a miracle no one was injured" one witness reported.
There have been a few reports of Jesus not having anything to say. One of our correspondents tried to get a statement from him but was crushed under Jesus' giant leather sandal. He died instantly at the scene. Jesus was last located at the harbourfront throwing parking ticket officers into the icy waters of Lake Ontario. Apparently he's pissed and very busy trying to clean up the city. One witness said that he heard Jesus growel and that he had ripped the roof off of a McDonald's and demanded they make him seventy-five Fillet-O-Fish.
"We don't know what he wants, but when we find out we'll give it to him. We're not even sure he is the real Jesus." David Miller, Mayor of Toronto told reporters.
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