Every day at the office people walk by and stop to talk to me. Most of the time they have nothing important to say - they just stand behind me and breathe down my neck blabbering on about useless shit that means nothing to me. Sometimes I don't mind if they have something interesting - it's the times that they show up with nothing to say and just start talking shit.
I think that they must think I am sitting here on my fat ass just waiting for them to show up. Hi come on over and feed me your shit - I sure am hungry for it!!!!
The best part is when my mind starts to wander and I start thinking other things - I turn down the volume and suck myself back inside myself hoping that whomever is in front of me will just start to dissapate like a bad fart does.
I guess I'm rude. I just dont care - but I should. I need to try and be nicer. I need to really look concerned and truely give a shit that someone's infant looked at them in a different way Thursday night, that someone's dog ate a christmas ornament, that someone's aunt choked on her own hair while sleeping, that someone's grandmother rubbed the back of her hand against their crotch by mistake on thanksgiving and it made them feel uncomfortable (well ok, the last one is a little interesting).
Each time someone comes over to my desk and looks like they are thinking of something to say I just start to push out a fart or anything that might resemble one. I tighten my ass cheeks in hopes to let it leak out slowly and silently.
I figure if I have to tolerate their shit they can tolerate mine.
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