Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Long Hard Road of Procrastination

Well, yeah I suppose no one really wants to hear my take on procrastination; and frankly I don't want to exercise my understanding of it or how it effects me by telling you here or any other time - so I am going to change the subject to nothing in particular.

This post is merely just for the sake of posting so skip to the next one if you are not interested in hearing whatever I decide to think right now. just re-reading the last sentence is making me sick - puke - would be a better word. It is at times like this that I realize most writers need to stick to a topic or have a direct goal in mind before they start to write - otherwise we end up reading shit like this.

This is nothing - but the fact that it is makes it something. The fact that it being nothing makes it something, also makes for another, thinner, layer of some sort of taffey-pulled meaning.

Yes. See? We have made it here - a place that is pulling us further into nowhere. We are together on this now even if you don't like being here you are here. As I write it the moment and instance you read it puts me with you even if I am already dead. An old idea I know but one that always keeps coming up in me. Sorry. I know don't apologize, it is a sign of weakness.

Today is a little different for me than most days - I haven't quite put my finger on what makes it different but I know that it is. It may just be optimism. If I could take a pill to ensure I would be optomistic each and every day things sure would be easier. Life would be a cavalcade of possibilities and intrigue.

I would sit in traffic and pontificate whatever thought I had and involuntarily wrap it in a red velvet cloth of optimism.

Life would be great - I could type freely and never worry about the accuracy and spelling errors because I would know in time that my typing and spelling would perfect itself.

At this instance I feel critical about my post - there is only a hint of optimism hidden beneath the need to fill the page. Now I think I am writing in circles - I have to stop - I am making myself sick.

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