The best before date on the mortadella (hot) was July third 2004. It was at the bottom of my crisper vacuum packed and safely cooled. I must of purchased it well before July, I always check the dates.
It passed the smell test so I decided to eat a few slices for breakfast on brown toast with butter and havarti. So far so good. I feel great. Rumor has it mortadella is made from horse meat - or is it donkey? I wonder. I will eat the rest of the bale of meat for lunch with a toasted cheese and herb bagel with yet another slice of havarti. I wonder if I will puke before nightfall?
The belches taste ok - I think its fine.
The racoons got into our garbage. The garbage men refused to take it because my wife left a bag of cat food tins on top of the can. Those fucks will use any excuse to pass up a lift. lazily I left the can outside instead of putting it back into the garage - I thought I could hear something last night as I slept.
I saw the wife of the neighbour leaving the house this morning - man is she fat. She was carrying a bunch of sacks and purses. Maybe she is leaving him - then the hookers could move in.
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