I can't focus anymore.

So it's Sunday and my ears smell like mold. I feel like I need to scrub myself with a pumice based soap to help slough off all of the grease and buildup of mess I have collected over the past week. Yes things build up and you need to have them removed. Your eye glasses get grimy and it makes it harder to see if you don't clean them.

I think old people stop washing because they just don't want to think clearly any more. Everyone ignores them so they just let the buildup congeal until they have a thick layer of sense-numbing barrier to keep them safe. I have no idea what all of this means, but I am sure it is important. I notice it ever so slightly when I look in the mirror. I can feel it deep inside me - I am just not as sharp as I used to be. I have to look a little harder at things to make them out. I have to pay a little closer attention. I miss things I normally would not(or never used to miss). Driving takes more concentration. Is this what it means to get on in years? Is this the first stage of me sensing that maybe keeping things clean will not keep me seeing and hearing clearly? I can hardly see without my glasses. I don't go to bars any more.
Fuck.