I am the truth. I am the light. I am the way. I am the ... umm ...
Seek out Thee and Yea shal be saved. Seek out Thee and Yea shal be blessed. Seek out Thee and Yea shal be sanctified unto Thee. And some sort of other shit like that.

For the next few minutes I have decided to start my own religion. And what better way to start one than to have yourself as the god itself. That way you can be in charge of everything and no matter what happens you can't be blamed because everyone will just take it as "God's will". So If I change the rain to urine and piss down on all of my loyal followers they will just look up and say oh well it's God's will. Cool huh? What better way is there to absolve yourself of all of your actions, do all kinds of rotten things, and get worshipped for it.

Now, now, now, don't start in to thinking that I am all resentful of my own secret God and this is a way for me to get back at the ass hole for dicking me around all day long. That's not the drill here. I have just decided for the next few minutes that I am going to be my very own God.
Remember when you were a kid and you tore the legs off of insects and piled rocks slowly onto catapillars until they burst? You were playing the man! No shit! When you kicked your dog or punched your little sister in the shoulder until her arm hung uselessly at her side. When you broke your friend's toys because you didn't have them yourself? When you beat up a kid at recess because you knew you could take him?

Every single time we do something wrong or selfish or maniacal - we are God. I know so many Gods. There are so so many walking the face of the earth. Shit man who needs to go to church - god just cut me off on the freeway!

So verily, verily I say unto thee - Behold I am the truth.